Her Only Sunshine
by candygood1
Summary: Being reborn was a fresh start for her. A chance to live the life she had so craved for. But without her lover it all seemed so pointless. That is until he was born. Her little sunshine. Her new hope. Her little brother Namikaze Minato. SakumoxOC (Rewritten version of my fic by the title of My New Sun)
1. Prologue Life Before

**Her Only Sunshine**

 **A/N Rewritten version is up. This will contain more of Minami's backstory (like why she kissed random people when she was younger) and a few major changes such as her parents' names and such and such. Another major change in this version is that Minami doesn't realise Minato will be born as her brother until later on. The first chapter is a lot darker than before so any of you who don't like to read that kind of stuff should skip to the second chapter. (Though it may be a bit confusing if you don't read the first chapter.)**

 **Like I mentioned in the last post of 'My New Sun' this story will not likely be updated until 2018.**

 **Also to those who do not know a** **n account on Wattpad has continuously been stealing my story 'My New Sun' and has now stolen 'Her Only Sunshine' as well. That account has been taken down once after I reported it but has reappeared under a new name. The only account authorized to upload 'My New Sun' and 'Her Only Sunshine' is my own 'candygood1'. Please take note of this and report the stolen story to Wattpad if you can. Other than that please enjoy ^^**

* * *

 **Prologue**

 **Life Before**

 **Prologue**

 **Life Before**

She is quiet. So quiet her friends are beginning to worry. At any other time she would have given them a reassuring smile and told them not to worry but this time she doesn't bother. Instead she focuses her attention solely on the ceramic urn that is sitting on her lap.

The urn is slightly warm due to hot ashes inside. Her thighs are uncomfortably hot but she endures it. Her long fingers trail over the kanji charcters on the urn that spell out the name of her late lover. She spends so much time staring at the urn that she doesn't realise they had arrived until her friends tap her on the shoulder.

She ignores the looks of pity they try to hide from her and steps out the car with her arms wrapped tightly around the urn. It is only a short distance to the graveyard where his grave has been prepared in advance. The fresh grey gravestone lays in wait as does the readily dug hole.

The funeral is fairly short as it only consists of the burial of the urn. There are no fancy words of god from a pastor or sugarcoated lies of the afterlife floating around as she and her lover had always hated religion with a passion.

Most of her small group of friends leave after the burial while others are sent away soon after. She has no patience left to deal with them at this point. While she appreciates their worry she does not want to be pitied by them or accidently lash out at them. Sending them away is the safest thing to do as even she isn't sure what will happen when she finally breaks down.

She takes a small shaky breath to calm herself before kneeling down in front of her lover's fresh grave. For a moment she admires the rows of sunflowers her friends have left him.

Sunflowers had always been his favourite flowers.

From his socks and boxers to the wallpaper of their shared apartment, her lover had been obsessed with them to the point he had declared that he would name his firstborn children Himawari or Hinata.

She had once asked him why he was so obsessed with them but all she had gotten as an answer was a light peck on the cheek. She had never gotten the true answer to her question and now she never would.

Now he is nothing but a pile of human ashes in an air tight ceramic urn, under a cold stone grave.

She tries to take another shaky breath but this time it does nothing to calm her. Her tears are already flowing freely down her cheeks and onto the pavement below her.

He had been the center of her world. The sun she would rotate around and the trees that would shelter her from the rain.

She had no family left to go to and no friends who truely understood her loss.

He had meant the world to her but now he was gone...

Without him...

 ** _"Just what do I have left to live for..."_**

* * *

It has been months since the funeral. Her friends are worried because she doesn't reply to their messages or answer their calls. They all meet up at her apartment and knock on the door. She answers and is promptly pulled into a tight group hug.

Her friends blabber on about how worried they were while she just smiles at them reassuringly. Her friends ask her when's the last time she went out and drag her outside when she doesn't answer.

The girls hull her to the nearest shopping mall while the boys follow behind. She is dressed up and down like a doll for hours until her friends are satisfied with her new look. They then proceed to drag her to their regular bar where she gets drunk on a few shots of strong vodka. The alcohol burns her throat and makes her head go dizzy but it is surprisingly pleasant.

She is on her 7th shot when a stranger comes up to her and tries to offer her a drink. He's been watching her for a while. He's waited until she was clearly drunk and took the chance when her friends all went to the bathroom.

Too drunk to care she takes the drink and chugs it down. Unknown to her the stranger has slipped a mild concoction of drugs into the drink and is waiting for it to take effect. It doesn't take long for it to do so and for him to take advantage. He forcibly slips his tongue into her thoat and gropes her breasts with his hands.

She is too weak to fight back and her body falls limply into the stranger's forceful embrace. At one point she thinks she can hear the voice of her lover, telling her he loves her like he always did when they kissed.

The stranger is just about to take off with her when her friends come back from the bathroom just in time to stop him. He flees but is caught by her male friends. They are all furious and look as if they are going to kill the man. They are stopped by the other customers who advise them to wait for the police.

The girls try to keep her awake while they wait but it is incredibly hard to do so as she continues to slip in and out of conscious. Her whole body feels so heavy and her head feels like it's filled with a nest of hornets. Bouts of nausea hit her hard causing her to heave up all the alcohol she's consumed that night. She is half dead by the time the police arrive with an ambulance.

The paramedics whisk her off to the hospital while her to-be rapist is taken into custody. She is hospitalized for 4 days before she is finally sent home. She is still a bit groggy but it is bearable. Her friends feel guilty for dragging her out that night and try to apologize over and over again but she is not having it.

She is upset at what happened that night and still has a few nightmares over the whole thing but she doesn't blame it on anyone but her almost-rapist. It had been her friends who had dragged her out that night and her who had gotten drunk but it was ultimately the almost-rapist's fault. If he hadn't drugged her or attempted to rape her then none of this would have happened.

There is one thing that has been nagging her at the back of her head though. When the rapist had kissed her she had heard **his** voice. Did that mean if she kissed someone she could hear **his** voice again?

* * *

Her friends are scared to ask her out again but they eventually comply at her continuous urging. They go to a different bar this time. One out of town. It is larger than their regular place and has more variety of alcoholic drinks. Though it is technically supposed to be a girl's night out, the boys have insisted on coming in case something similar happened again.

Nobody tries anything this time so it is a much more cheerful event. Again she took one too many shot of vodka and ends up leaning on one of her male friend's for support. He has also had a few too many beers and one thing lead to another with them ending up locking lips.

A sickening feeling churns in her lower stomach as her friend deepens the kiss. She is on the verge of vomiting when she finally hears **his** voice. His voice. The voice that she so yearned for. She can finally hear it.

Tears stream down her cheeks, startling her friend who quickly pulls away from her to apologize. As soon as his lips leave hers the voice fades.

 ** _No, she doesn't want it to fade._**

She grabs hold of her friend's collar and forcefully pulls him into another kiss. The sickening feeling is still there but she ignores it as she savours the familiar voice that rings in her head.

* * *

The next week when the friend she kissed asks if she remembers anything of that night she lies and says she does't. That friend never brings it up again and doesn't act any differently besides that.

It is cruel of her to do so in a way but she does't want to lead him on. She isn't ready to enter another serious relationship. The only reason she kissed him was to hear her lover's voice.

After that night she starts experimenting a bit with random men at bars. She finds out that as long as she is locking lips with someone she will be able to hear his voice. Kissing someone is the only way she can hear his voice so clearly. She has no recordings of his voice at home and just remembering it in her head isn't as clear as it is when she is kissing someone. The actual kissing makes her sick to her stomach but she will do anything to hear his voice again.

As twisted as it is this becomes her coping mechanism. The sound of his voice is the only thing keeping her sane. It is her only way of coping with her loss.

Every Saturday night she goes out with her friends and gets drunk at a bar to spend the night locking lips with someone. She never lets them go to the next level and stops as soon as it looks like they are going to try and bed her. Some men are satisfied with just being snogged senseless while others aren't. She learns that through experience.

All in all this routine keeps her sane enough to carry on with her normal life but even it has its limits. There is one thing that it can never hope to help and that is his death anniversary.

Each year on that day, after she has returned from visiting his grave, she always finds herself at gunpoint. It doesn't matter what she does or how hard she tries she will always end up in the same position.

For 6 years she manages not to pull the trigger but on the 7th year it all becomes too much. She is just too tired...

Surprisingly the gun has never felt more lighter. Her hands don't shake like they did in the previous years and she no longer feels the intense fear of death looming over her shoulders.

There is no feeling, no emotions and no hesitation. Everything just feels so numb to her...it feels so numb and so right to be there. To be in the situation where she is to finally be freed of the pain she has been enduring for so long.

After one final deep breath she pulls the trigger and lets the metal bullet impale her.

It is over in less than 4 seconds. A moment of pain rushes by before she feels nothing.

No pain, no loss, just nothing...

She wants nothing more than this to be the end of her story. The end of her miserable life, but it isn't.

To her dismay the nothingness fades all too quickly and is replaced by the familiar disorder of her much hated world.

For a moment she thinks she's failed that is until two blurry figures appear over her and say 3 simple words.

 ** _"Welcome home Minami-chan"_**

* * *

 **I'm not sure what rating to place on this but just to be safe I've rated it as M and Mature on other sites. I would really appreciate it if you could help me choose the right rating.**


	2. Chapter One Namikaze Minami

**Chapter One**

 **Namikaze Minami**

Namikaze Minami is her new name. Her new identity…her new life.

She was born on January 3rd as the daughter of Namikaze Eiji and Shinju, jonins of Konohagakure. She was reborn into a fictional world as a relative? of the fourth Hokage. Honestly this isn't what bothers her. Fictional or not this is where she was reborn into and as far as she sees it it's real.

What bothers her is the fact she doesn't remember any of Minami's memories before she came to. From the bits and bobs of Minami's parents' conversations she can make out she is at least 2 months. What happened to those 2 months? Why didn't she remember anything? Had she taken over this baby's body? If so where is she? What happened to her?

In the end she comes to the conclusion that she has taken over Minami's body and the baby girl is most likely dead. Why? is the only question she can ask herself. She had wanted to die...she had been ready to die so why was she alive! Why was she alive in the place of an innocent baby girl?

Guilt eats away at her alongside her nightly terrors. Minami's parents try their best to care for her and she can feel the love and worry they have for their daughter.

She feels sorry for them. They've lost their daughter and are unknowingly raising her murderer as their own. She tries her best to be the best daughter they could ever have but fails miserably.

The memories of her past life are too fresh and too vivid. It doesn't help that she doesn't have her coping mechanism to help her. Her tightly terrors have Minami's parents on edge. They've taken her to the medics time and time again but they can't seem to grasp what is causing her to be so restless. If only they knew...if they knew how terrifying it is to see each and every time she falls asleep too deeply.

 ** _"_** ** _Bitch_** ** _"_**

 ** _"_** ** _Slut_** ** _"_**

 ** _"_** ** _Murderer_** ** _"_**

 ** _"_** ** _Hana-chan_** ** _"_**

She isn't Minami.

But she isn't Hana either.

She isn't a 2 month old baby.

But she isn't a 27 year old office worker either.

Just who was she? Who is she?

 ** _"You're my sweet little sunflower Hana-chan. My sweet sweet sunflower."_**

 _She would always be his little sunflower but maybe...just maybe she could become a whole new person..._

 _She might not know who she is anymore...but maybe she find that out for herself this time around..._

* * *

She is 4 months old now. Nothing much has changed since then but it has gotten better. She still can't bring herself to call Minami's parents her own but she's getting there.

She's developed a new coping mechanism. Instead of her lover's voice she uses Minami's mother's voice as her coping mechanism. While it isn't as effective or relaxing as her old one, it helps keep her night terrors at bay.

Minami's mother has caught onto this and talks as much as she can around her. It takes a small toll on the older woman's throat which makes her little more than guilty. She tries to show how grateful she is by hugging her but fails to do so as she still has barely any control over her body. She actually ends up in tears from exhausting herself too much.

Her body is still too frail to do much less anything than rolling over. Minami's mother seems happy enough about her development so she must be developing normally.

It still frustrates her that her body is sluggish most of the time. Another thing she has a hard time with is controlling her bodily fluids. Drool is one thing but not being able to control her 1s and 2s is embarrassing.

Teething is another problem she is going through. It's not as bad as her night terrors but it's close. Her gums are aching up a storm. Minami's father has brought her a few things to chew on which have helped her a lot through the horrible experience. Though she doubts she'll need all 6 of them.

 ** _"Look Nami-chan. Papa brought you a new toy!"_**

 ** _"Eiji, you need to stop buying Nami-chan new teething toys. She already has 5. She doesn't need anymore!"_**

 ** _"But Shinju~ I can't help it!"_**

 ** _"..."_**

* * *

As she grows older it has been getting easier to deal with her night terrors. Now that she can control her body to some degree she can demand hugs and give Minami's parents sloppy kisses on the lips. Even though it's only for a few seconds the voice of her lover helps her immensely.

Minami's parents love her new found affection. The few worries they have disappear and are steadily replaced by more laughter and happiness.

Guilt washes over her again because she knows she doesn't deserve this happiness.

 ** _"Everyone deserves to be happy Hana-chan. Especially someone as kind as you."_**

 _Then does that mean she can be Minami? Can she really replace her? Can she really be this selfish?_

 _...yes..._

She is Namikaze Minami. She is the daughter of Namikaze Eiji and Shinju, jonins of Konohagakure. She is a 6 month old baby whose current goal in life is to become the best daughter her parents could ever have.

* * *

September 25th. It's her mother's birthday today. Minami has devised the perfect plan for her birthday present. She's been practicing for months so she is sure she won't fail.

It doesn't go exactly according to plan as she accidentally sleep through lunch and basically ends up blurting it out after dinner.

"Mama!"

Both of her parents freeze in shock. Her mother is the first to snap out of it and start squealing in delight about how her daughter's first words are mama. The older blonde picks Minami up and twirls her around while doing a somewhat awkward dance of joy.

Her father on the other hands starts to sulk in the corner of the kitchen. Minami giggles at his childish behavior before saying her second words,

 _"_ _Papa_ _"_

Her father lightens up at this. He joins her mother in their joy dance.

Minami feels her chest tighten up but ignores it. She lets herself enjoy the rest of the evening celebrating her mother's birthday with cake, sweetened baby food for her, and kisses. The smile on her face doesn't fade even as she drifts off to sleep.

That night she dreams about the future...about a spiky blonde haired Namikaze who has their mother's spiky blonde locks and their father's bright blue eyes...

* * *

Minami's first steps are a few weeks after her mother's birthday. They are delighted at this and proudly show her off to their friends. The demonstrations she has to give her parents' friends are enough practice themselves but her parents also have her practice while they are at home. It's no surprise that she masters the art of walking faster than any of her peers.

Now that Minami is walking her parents start taking her out the house more often. Oddly enough they don't take her out to the playground like most of their friends do with their children. Instead they take her on long walks around the village. Sometimes when they come across buildings like the academy or the Uchiha police station, they'd stop for awhile to explain what that building is for and when to go to it.

Minami's favorite place so far is the corner shop near the market place. It's similar to the one she regularly visited in her past life. The sweets and trinkets are slightly different but they bring her the same joy as they did in her past life.

Once a week they would pass the shop while going to the market place to shop for groceries. Her mother has made grocery shopping an educational game. She, and her father would read out an item from the shopping list and Minami would point it out and read how much it cost. If she got at least half of the list correct they would take her to the corner shop for a small bag of treats.

Since Minami knows most of what her mother says the game is easy for her but she holds herself back at first. The first time they'd played the game Minami had purposely gotten most of them wrong. She had pretended to ponder a bit before randomly selecting an item from the stall. Each week she had allowed herself to get a few more right or purposely dropped a few others. Eventually she started to get past the half way line and gain her treats.

"My, my I guess you managed to win this time Minami-chan." The shop keeper says as she skips through the front door and heads straight to where the sweets are.

"Un! Minami win!" She says childishly before turning attention to the large collection of sweets before her.

The adults chuckle at her and chat while waiting for the youngest Namikaze to finish choosing her prize.

"Bright little thing isn't she." The shop keeper chuckles. "My niece is about her age but she still can't say much besides 'mama' and 'no'."

Minami's parents nod in agreement.

"It honestly surprised me when she started to win the game. I had thought it would take at least until her 2nd birthday for her to start winning but look." Her mother says proudly.

It's just then that Minami rushes over to them with a small bottle of Konpeitō grasped tightly between her fingers. "Mama look! Pretty!"

Her mother smiles and picks her up in her arms while her father pays the shop keeper. "Wow, they're really pretty Nami-chan. Do you want mama to hold them for you or do you want to hold them yourself?"

"Herself! Minami holds!" Minami exclaims, causing the adults to chuckle once more.

The shop keeper then ruffles Minami on the head and slips another bottle of Konpeitō into her hands. "Make sure you win next time too kiddo."

With a giant grin on her face Minami nods and says, "Un! mata raishu (see you next week) oji-chan!"

After another round of chuckles the Namikazes leave the shop and head home. On their way home Minami slowly begins to drift off to sleep. Her grip on the bottles loosen so her father holds them for her..

 ** _"Konpeitō huh? I wonder what it'll be next week."_**


End file.
